Stuckeys

I'm a real skinflint, so I often hitch hike to get around the good old US of A. Sure you have to blow a trucker or 10, but who among us hasn't? As long as they're white. You have to watch though. The Naftas lets Mexican trucks in here now. I was so fucking livid when I learned that I burned down a Taco Bell. The cops never found me out though. Being in a persistent vegetative state (or so they think!) is a perfect alibi for anything you want to do. I digress. More than once, I've been abandoned at a Stuckeys. Its a truck stop I guess. I eat nothing but jerky when I'm here. Its pre-packaged so it doesn't get any filth on it.

I almost forgot. These whackjob Christian protesters follow me around. They have for years. I don't know what the fuck they want. They probably want to convert me. I tell them Jesus was a Jew and I want no part of that. I'm not giving up clams, not even for the Lord.