Party City

More like Party Shitty. After my Cuban debacle, I hitchhiked my way from Miami back to home base in Rednecks Knob, FL (Scarborough Country...) and really needed a fucking break. Balloons are my crack, the redder the better. I'm serious. You think I just watch them float? No. You can cram one of those fags in a crackpipe and smoke up. Something in the rubber gets you higher than shit. Sometimes when I get high I go steal porn from my disgusting fatass of a neighbor.

Tesco

I traveled to London last year to meet that Austrian Holocaust denier (you do realize it was bogus right? We're still overrun with Jews.) and got lost. I wandered into this place called Tesco. It looked like a Walmart to me, but apparently they don't abuse their white trash workforce. Thats a shame. Anyway, I walked into this aisle and found this display of balloons. To be honest, I crapped myself with excitement and let out a shriek. Look at those fuckers.

Balloon Store

Look at all those balloons. This store makes me wetter than an eel. I go here often when I'm in need of more balloons.

Schiavo Was Here