I cried out, but no one came. It had been two months since I had seen another human being who didn't work for the evil Chipotle corporation. I shouldn't even use the term human being...animals is more accurate. They would pelt me with avocado pits to orgasm and force fed me the rank food this so called restaurant makes. Now I know what those Hasidic diamond merchants went through in the German camps.
On Superbowl Sunday, I saw my chance to escape. The wetback staff was busy eating lard or whatever the fuck those pigs snack on, so I tried to gnaw through the restraint on my foot, but no luck. I knew what I had to do. I had to eat through my ankle to escape. If you were wondering, yes, my own flesh tasted better than anything Chipotle makes. Now I have one foot. What am I? A fucking diamond miner? This is embarrassing.
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