Dairy Queen

I'm not gonna lie. I thought this was going to be a drag show with a bunch of fat trannies. I was mistaken. Its not the first time I've been fooled by a transexual. Have you seen these on the internets? There you are, clicking your mouse (both literally and figuratively), and all of a sudden a huge cock pops out. Its trippy. Sometimes they make me wet and I have to go pray the gay away.

Trader Joe's

Trader Joe's is a grocery store for uppity liberal douchebags with too much money on their hands. I really wish these people would just get AIDS. I went in here once and just puked all over the fucking floor. There was a guy wearing a poncho who ate apples. I'm not touching an apple. Remember what it did to Eve? Whole fucking history of man's suffering can be traced back to eating apples. Terri Schiavo knows her bible.

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company

I have to be the one to say it. I didn't get that Forest Gump movie. He's a tard, his girlfriend is a tramp, and his two best friends are a colored boy and an angry cripple. Whats so fucking oscar worthy? I've slept with a lot of cripples in my day and no one ever gave me a gold statue. Anyway, I didn't actually go here to eat. I went to this place to troll for men.